her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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