I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize