Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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