You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
