I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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