Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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