singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
