I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
