I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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