Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
