hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
