Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize