New low: just hacked my moms facebook
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
