I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
