he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
