belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
