Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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