She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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