What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
