So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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