OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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