You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
