I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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