I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
