i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
