Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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