Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
