I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
we're so committed to being not committed
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
