My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize