Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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