How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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