My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
