im six kinds of drunk right now
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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