I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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