he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize