Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she smelled like a LAN party
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
