What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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