matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize