just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
