haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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