I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We are all done wearing pants today
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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