i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
