So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
