this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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