we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize