She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
