end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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