You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
