i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
