We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize