I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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