Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
