Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
