Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
