Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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