Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
