that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
