stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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