It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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